Moreidlethoughts Weblog

humour,art,gardens, books and whatever idle thoughts float through my mind (it's a very draughty mind.)

GMO a short treatise thereon.

14 Comments

I think I must have been genetically modified…

I have come to this conclusion after careful observation of friends, relatives and, to be scientifically accurate, total strangers.

By studying the reactions of my “target group” to certain public announcements, viz:
post-Christmas sales, advertising literature from fashion houses and audio-promotions for a wide range of consumer goods, and their eagerness to form what might conceivably be termed “raiding parties,” I have drawn the following conclusion:

I do not carry the Shopping Gene.

An apparent consequence of this missing element in the arrangement of my double helix means, in addition, that I display a marked distaste for cosmetic pastes, rarely patronise a hairdressing salon and am bored witless by “girlie” conversations about the advantages or otherwise of gel versus acrylic artificial nails and whether size 8 shorts would make my size 10 bum look fat.

While this condition is rare in the affluent, westernised world, suggesting that it may be due to environmental changes post-Industrial Revolution, a further consequence of my “condition” is that I am sometimes the focus of unwanted attention from some of Sappho’s followers.

))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((

Jumping from Sappho to Omar…



Show caution now! For rash NASDAQ on City’s floor
Has tempted us to buy then buy some more.
The lamp of Prudence, burning low,
May gutter e’re we stumble t’wards the Door.

Admonishments from frugal Fathers, past
Are lost in air as Profit bids us: “Fast!”
And Maynard Keynes calls us to worship Him
And nails our billowed colours to his Mast.

The Bull and Bear, they say, still tend
That Court where men were wont to buy and lend
And o’er those silent Brokers of the Past
The Wild Bull stamps, but cannot make them spend.

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Author: dinahmow

A New Zealander, currently living in tropical Queensland,Australia (with 2 cats and one Main Man).Old enough to remember George VI, white tennis balls and life-before-television.You want more? Read the blog!

14 thoughts on “GMO a short treatise thereon.

  1. I haven’t been in a hairdressing emporium since … oh … the last millennium! 🙂

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  2. i am your sister, dinahmow. i’m missing the shopping gene also. i do like the hairdresser, though: i am somewhere floating in space while my scalp is being massaged. i know it’s only a wash but i pretend otherwise.

    thank you for writing a post that’s like me….

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  3. I once carried that gene but it has become greatly modified over the last 8 or 9 years. The conclusion I have reached is that when one is truly happy and content it no longer feels necessary to keep getting more stuff.
    Cheers!
    Patty

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  4. my butch as F%$# husband has more shoes than Imelda Marcos a closet busting selection of man purses. meanwhile sappho lurks in the cupressus leylandii smashing all my daylillies.
    i need coffee.

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  5. Hi there…

    I can resonate with triller and say that my shopping gene has been modified.
    These days I might go out shopping but nothing really thrills me and I come home empty handed. I consider this a good sign. I want to live with less. Besides… over here in England there isn’t any room for THINGS so why bother?

    (PS… this is THE WOMAN writing. Pearl is allowing me to use the computer.)

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  6. I actually hate shopping, if you can believe it. I shop online because I hate crowded places. As for Sappho’s followers, some of them look like Fanie Ardant so they must frequent the beauty salon.

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  7. Minus the shopping gene also, allergic to hair salons and don’t even know (or care) what gel nails are….
    Andrea’s blog rocks, huh. I can tell I’m going to enjoy your’s also.

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  8. andrea…I doubt you’ve missed anything!

    kj…scalp massage is fine, as long as they don’t chatter!

    patty and pearl…could cats be a factor?

    fn…Or EVOO!

    ces…you big kidder, you!

    denise…welcome

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  9. Actually I would love to enjoy shopping – I want to be out there having a good time spending and I love shoes and handbags -I used to have fun shopping and then my daughters became teenagers – now it’s a nightmare – I can nolonger stand to be in one of those awful boutiques while they try on every single thing – I just hand over the money and stay at home – that way we all may live a little longer.

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  10. Taxonomically I am of the Genus: Parsimonious Maximus so I completely understand,
    c’mon sing along..
    “I get no thrill from shop-ping”

    I eschew retail therapy in part because my tinge of germaphobia makes going to a mall akin to poking needles in my eyes..
    don’t get me started on door handles and escalator rails EEEWWWH!
    ..and after two decades of trial and ‘hair’ I have trimming my own boring runofthemill looks the same Dad Hair down to a science..
    (it’s all done with mirrors).
    …even trimmed the wife’s coif last night.

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  11. Dinah..you are right! How cud Mum be anyfing BUT happy wiff me an Chelsea here?? We ben wiff her 8 or 9 years.

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  12. ziggi…yes, turn the kids loose and save your sanity.

    he…mirrors, plural.That’s why I had to venture forth – I have no place for a rear-view mirror.But once Miss Scissor-happy has shaped it, I can manage to maintain it.Parsimonious maximus, indeed!

    triller…hope the painting’s cooming along?

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  13. Omar would be proud of you Di! 😎

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  14. rhymer…many thanks!( I’m surprised no one castigated me for meddling with The Great One!)

    Like

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