Moreidlethoughts Weblog

humour,art,gardens, books and whatever idle thoughts float through my mind (it's a very draughty mind.)



First of all, thankyou to those of you who popped in with treats and good wishes for Kaz. Just as well we did it the cyber way – some of those things would never have got through the post!

Now, look again at the title. Then read this. I have no idea who came up with it, but I see a strong grain of common sense. Well-laced with humour. And the way things are going in some quarters we’re all about due for a laugh.

Also, I’m busy, pressed for time and more than a dash lazy! 🙂 But I’ll be back soon…

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts!  I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get  up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, ‘I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b….

If  captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 …with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol…. they will have it secured the first night!


Author: dinahmow

A New Zealander, currently living in tropical Queensland,Australia (with 2 cats and one Main Man).Old enough to remember George VI, white tennis balls and life-before-television.You want more? Read the blog!


  1. snort!!!!

    one grumpy old wo/men could solve a myriad of world issues…….


    • I was on my first coffee when this came in and then I had to spend 5 minutes mopping the keyboard;-)

      And yes, it’s not safe to be around me when the hormonal heatwaves kick in. Apparently, I’m like the Incredible Hulk.


  2. **applause** Brilliant!!!


  3. Anything that keeps those 18 year olds safe has to be a good idea. Let’s hear it for the oldies with attitude.


  4. Armies are completely nuts – a farmer doesn’t cull his best young studs, does he?


  5. Dinah! You won! Send me your mailing address and I’ll pop the “Deep” linocut in the post to you! Thanks for helping me celebrate my 500th Postiversary!


  6. hope you’re having fun being busy!!!!




  7. Yikes — I saw my son and myself in this post! (50 with PMS? Who, me? 🙂 It actually makes a helluva lot of sense. As mother of an almost 18 year old I can attest to that!


  8. andrea…and yet there are many calling for the re-introduction of National Service. Carl in combat boots and buzz-cut? 😉


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